The concept of introverts enjoying more me-time, being unusually accustomed to being alone and feeling exhausted during and after being in large crowds — it’s here, and it’s not that far from the truth. But I’ve recently started reading, hearing and seeing people talking about how awesome it may be for me, a self-confessed introvert, now that the lockdowns are spinning out of control; about how incredibly suitable this situation must be for people like me — those who are fully capable of appreciating time alone with themselves, reading novels within a day or binge-watching Netflix for hours at a time, in quiet.
However, this cannot be further from the truth. Let’s first introduce an adequate description of what an introvert can be: according to acclaimed online healthcare information database Healthline, introverts ‘feel more’. In conclusion, based on the results of two separate studies, the website uncovers a secret we have been keeping for quite some time — introverts do care about many things, about a number of people, and we are deeply sensitive to changes in our intimate environment.
Being an introvert, you possibly have fewer friends than your extroverted acquaintances, but they are authentic, long-lasting friends for whom you care about a lot. This is one field where lockdown hits hard — if you are sensible and strive to protect those whom you love, you are probably distancing yourself from everyone and everything that may be accidentally harmed by your presence. This can include loved ones, partners you are not living together with, parents, siblings and close friends. The distance, the larger space between you, is most definitely putting a strain on your relationships and your overall mental health. Even when we explain things very clearly to ourselves, and find the best reasoning, being away from the few close ones we care about is hurtful and may cause episodes of depression, anxiety or other conditions that may be either diagnosed or underlying.
Don’t make your introverted friends feel obliged to stay alone during the lockdown
It’s essential to understand that, while your introverted friend may be feeling overwhelmed when they have had several meetings or dates in the same week, this doesn’t make them a flower in bloom during these devastating times of immeasurable isolation. It can even become worse: when you have an already limited social life, having an external power — be it the pandemic or a government — obstructing you from having precious moments of social interaction, can break your mental stability and really worsen your mental health. Nostalgia, cravings, depression may set in, and nobody needs this, regardless of how well they usually manage their time alone. What’s worse is when your acquaintances don’t understand that you need social interaction and that being an introvert is not equal to being secluded, without relationships. Introverts don’t hate eventful times, nor do they like to be absent from the critical moments of their loved ones’ lives.
Tips for getting the hang of lockdown communication and keeping sane during the lockdown:
- Get the hang of video calling software such as Facetime, Discord, Zoom and even good old Skype and Google’s hangouts.
- Learn to write down your worries and preoccupations.
- Confide, but don’t drown your relationships in tears. You don’t need to keep it all in, but neither do you need to spend your precious moments with your loved ones, discussing problems and issues. Try to focus on the positive and light-hearted things that have happened since you last spoke to them.
- Analyse your issues and problems — if you honestly can’t focus, find the negatives outweighing the positives, feel depressed or consumed by worry — contact a specialist. Mental health apps such as TalkSpace, BetterHelp, Breakthrough and others have given a new meaning to therapy by offering online sessions and video calls during the pandemic.
So, how can you, wonderful extroverted creatures, help yourselves and your cool introverted friends in these times of social distancing?
- Contact your friends more (preferably by texts and chats), but don’t put too much pressure on them to communicate.
- Be there for them when they need you — if they seem down or depressed, opt-in for a video call session and try to cheer them up with some games or maybe set a watch party for a favourite TV show or movie you both like.
- Give them space, but don’t forget about them — we may say lots of nos, but it’s not because they don’t want to be there, it’s maybe just because they are overwhelmed or exhausted from a previous adventure. Keep on inviting them to remind your introverted pals that they are needed and appreciated.
- Do not get offended by their distancing — they do care for you, we really do, and maybe this is precisely why your introverted friend has decided not to burden you with their thoughts and worries at this moment. However, they will surely get back to you if you message them and ask for a check-in to know they are doing well. Just don’t be too persistent — let them pick the moment.
Disclaimer: Although I’ve spent some lovely hours studying and being examined on Psychology 101 at the University, I am by no means a professional psychologist, an expert on relationships or a specialist mental health professional. My words are based on my personal experiences and are by no means a substitute to a mental health practitioner’s actual advice.
